Note with permission from the original author I have decided to republish this article. – James Rink
“Now sitting here in front of the computer I am flooded with questions and doubts… I don’t know if the person that this information is intended for will ever read this, I don’t know if I’m just crazy or if this is all real. I don’t know if writing this will be of any good to anyone. This is a piece of my life.
The easier part was deciding to write and get this off my chest, now the hard part is what to write. Should I write it all, should I just write about what I remember… I am a very logical person and this journey has been anything but that and my decision to get this information out there I guess is mostly to get any validation that I’m not crazy. That worries me a lot, all of this sounds crazy and delusional. I guess that’s why it’s been so difficult to me to get this out there. Also on another note as I know that many people will read this, please pardon any spelling or grammatical errors, I am only human.
I believe I should just start at the beginning; maybe there are clues to what type of programming I have been subjected to or what my background is. I’m writing down (mostly) every little thing I can remember that I think is out of place, no matter how trivial. I have decided to remain anonymous. I am not looking for attention or interviews or radio shows. What I am looking for is a specific person to read this, which I will disclose later on. Also there is one person who I have shared some of my feelings with and if he recognizes that this is me I ask with great humility that he keep my identity private, please.
My whole life I felt out of place. I was a quiet child, with a subtle sense of tragedy about me…not depression but as if something bad had happened long ago and I couldn’t exactly remember what it was. I felt like a little adult in a child’s body. I would constantly look for jobs and try to become independent of course telling my parents I was going to get a job at 8,9,10 years old only made them laugh but I was serious. I felt like I had a mission to do. I was always fascinated with the military. I don’t know how normal it is to be a little girl and want to go into the military. I had no relations to anyone in the military to be influenced in any way. I loved it when my parents took me to airshows. I was the eldest daughter of immigrant parents (They are from South America, although I cannot disclose which country in particular). I don’t know a whole lot about my mother’s side of the family, my grandmother was an illegitimate child with unknown father and my grandfather’s family was German and would not talk about their history or kept anything like pictures or things like that. They also had their names changed when they came to live to South America like so many Germans did around that time. I remember being a 3 or 4 years old and knowing all about sex, that worried me a lot growing up because as I grew up I realized it wasn’t normal. As far as I know I have not been molested as a child. I have talked to family members and they also agree that there is slim to none chance that would of happened due to living situations and locations. There is no way I could know what I knew, maybe monarch programming. I had a unrealistic fear that people would just disappear … don’t know where I would get that from as I logically knew people didn’t just normally disappear out of thin air. I had psychic dreams in which I would dream things and then they would happen. I had an experience seeing a massive creature with red eyes and shadowy body. I recall seeing three saucer shaped objects one day, I was in my parent’s bedroom and my parents and sisters were in the garage downstairs. There was one disk on top and two below it, resembling a triangular formation somewhat. I remember the windows shaking like they do when there is an earthquake and that is when I looked outside and saw that, I don’t have any memories after that.
I have never been able to keep a journal, I felt like I shouldn’t write anything down and that I couldn’t disclose anything…I know, crazy right…I’m a nobody, why would anyone care. But I have to be honest as to what I have felt. I started having dreams of deep space missions, they were so realistic and scary and I woke up tired, confused and irritable. I had these strange feelings that I was from the future ( I assumed it was the future, as these were space missions to other planets and I thought we did not have that technology on Earth at this time)…and that what I held as most important which was my intelligence was “taken” from me and I was sent here to this reality against my will for some reason but that it was done to protect me somehow. The dreams went on for a while and then suddenly they stopped. I thought this was all too unreal and just shrugged it off as strange dreams. This happened in my 20’s. I also recall a single image of children in cages with animals and the animals were hurting them.
Now in my 30’s I started getting more involved in alternative media and paying attention to what is going on in this world. I started my activist page on facebook, I started feeling depressed for some reason and I also started getting strange feelings that I had programming of some sort and not of the good kind. I felt that I was like character in a story that was kept from me. Like I had some role to play in a story that was unknown to me. This is not characteristic of my personality at all, I am usually happy go lucky kind of attitude. I was told that in doing service to others through my activist page I was not praying for protection and thus getting bombarded by opposing forces.
Months later…I was watching some of the super soldier interviews and I started getting flashes of images and feelings something which has never happened to me before. I have watched many, many interviews through the years; from Project Camelot to David Icke, etc… It was with one person in particular. This next part is embarrassing to me as I don’t have any connection to this person nor have I ever met them ; I started to recall being with this person intimately and that is as far as I will go. Then some months later watching a different interview of the same person I started getting strange feelings and images again…this time it was physically and emotionally painful. I remembered this person and myself crying, remember him wiping tears from his face, we were saying goodbye. I know I was to have my memory wiped for some reason, to protect me somehow…I don’t know if it was just me or that his memory was going to be wiped as well. But we were saying goodbye and I remember saying or feeling that it was worse than saying goodbye because when you say goodbye you have the hope that you might see that person again in the future or whatnot but that this wiping of memories was worse because I would never again remember him and he would not remember me. In a sense I felt as though we would never see each other again. What makes us the people we are? Our memories do, so the sense that I was losing them I felt that I was losing myself, who I was, the people I loved, in a way I was losing everything. The feelings of despair and grief were so intense that I felt that my heart was breaking and I was clutching my chest. It was physically painful and I had to stop many times but I was determined that I would finish watching the interview. I consulted someone regarding these memories and feelings and they said that they might be real or they might be implanted. There are three possibilities here and all three are terrifying. One, that they are real. Two, that they are implanted, and if they are, why those memories and why me? Three, that I’m losing it and going crazy. Like I said all three are terrifying. I’m scared because what if I am going crazy, I have a family, a home… I’m sitting here like WTF with all these images and feelings and such…I also felt that it was this certain person but another him, not a clone maybe but a different him…I know, it sounds freaking crazy and in my “memories” it seemed like he was not speaking in English.
A few days later I felt horrible, it was at night. I started feeling strange sensations on the back of my head and neck area as if someone was touching me. Then it felt as if nothing mattered. The best way I can describe it is like the Harry Potter movie when Harry was touched by a dementor…like all the happiness was taken or suck out of me, like I was empty, rebooted, restarted… I think this is what is called a psychic attack of some sort.
The next morning I was in the shower and I got the feeling that I was being watched like they were having some sort of a conference and they were watching me and talking about me. It was very scary. I could hear things like the water was amplifying a radio signal, if I turned my head a certain way I could “hear” them. They whoever they are were watching me and I heard things like that it was not good that I was remembering this person and that it was also bad (bad for them) if he remembered me. That there are rumors of a war starting (off planet maybe?) and that if he remembered me then they couldn’t use him for the mission (don’t know why they wouldn’t be able to use him or what mission they are talking about). They were also discussing what they should do to me regarding this situation. They were discussing their options.
Two nights later my mother is hysterical and crying, saying that she heard my husband scream, painful screams, she saw tall greys, then she saw myself and my child being taken to the room where my husband was , heard us all screaming…She said that they walked funny, they weren’t touching the floor they were gliding somehow. She says she saw a flash of what looked like blue light and then she saw the tall greys about 4 of them. She says that they also made me sit in front of what looked like a vintage suitcase but when you opened it , it was some sort of advanced technological device and it had a screen, they were making me talk to someone in the past. I don’t recall anything. I just thought it was strange that I slept so many hours straight. My three year old still doesn’t sleep through the night and I’m up with him every 2 or 3 hours during the night. A few hours later we are in the kitchen later and she turns to me suddenly and says, that’s strange a name just popped in my head, she said do you know anyone with last name “Cobalt, Cabalt…”? I said “Casbolt…James” she said” YES!” I was stunned for a moment and I said, what about him, she said I don’t know but his name came into my head. So that is the person that I was watching in the interview that I started getting the memories…I never told her his name. My mother is a foreigner who has a middle school education and barely knows how to use facebook and email.
In conclusion…there is no conclusion I guess, this is bizarre and frightening. I am a normal person with healthy skepticism. I am just beyond myself at this point. I don’t know what all this means or what James Casbolt has to do with me or anything. I have no clue about any of this. Nothing of this caliber has ever happened to me. If anyone has any information you can contact me through James. He can vouch for me that I am not a disinfo agent , government shill or crazy person. I am just trying to understand all this, trying to process it and figure out what it all means. I would like some validation that this is not just some figment of my imagination. James knows who I am and will not disclose my name to anyone no matter how much you try. If there is any matter that is urgent she will let me know. I asked why all of this is happening and the answer I got we all have a way of finding each other again, that we are like magnets and our energy forces pull us together.” (End of message)