I can understand ALL of your dillemmas with the MILAB experiences. I had spent entire decades of my own life trying to be my own “Ultra” (since being just a “man” is unrealistic for many good reasons), and documenting everything that I can. Don’t expect to sit and cry: “WHY ME?” and get validated by someone else. It’s YOUR experiences, whether they are subjective or physical, and no less REAL because you can’t find someone else to validate your lives FOR you. YOU have to believe in YOURSELF. That’s NOT just a “saying”, it’s the way YOU have to learn to live. It PAYS YOU to keep a log or diary and note dates and times when things happen. When you get X-rays or MRIs, get your own copies. Don’t just ask nicely, but go in and demand them, since your insurance paid for them. Do EVERYTHING that you can to document everything you can: Doctor’s names, tests ran, clinics and hospitals used, military bases or facilities you’ve been to. Then do your own research! Do you honestly think there is anyone out there that has the countless HOURS it takes to research every piece of relevant information you can provide them? You’re asking what you won’t do for yourself, and that goes nowhere every time. I’ve been in MKULTRA from the day I was born. You will NOT find my military or birth records, or school records and a great many things that will not name me outright. But I remember every doctor, clinic and facility that I’ve been to and can find that each of them have documented CIA and MKULTRA connections. So, NOW those more insubstantiated experiences, have real life indicators that I’m not just a “nut job”. I have dates, times, places, people and events and descriptions of all of those things that are the ONLY proofs, besides the X-rays and MRIs of very REAL hardware in me. So, what do you do, once you’ve got real time, real life evidence that certain shit happened directly to you? Sue the government? I’ve seen that twice, in 1977 and 1995. Nothing but bullshit came of it. But I *know* who I am, and have more than explored what I am capable of, and I own *myself* and that is the BEST thing to come from ALL of this. I have medical problems up the yin-yang, and MUCH of it is related to what I’ve been through with MKULTRA, but don’t expect the government to admit anything. But I get some help via Disability and Medicare at this late stage. Get serious with yourselves! NOBODY EVER came to rescue ANY of us when I was a boy in this nightmare, and I’ve seen things worse than death. But we are here and now, and WE can take control of ourselves and validate who and what we are for ourselves. And THAT is going to be the best you can get… unless you are a great deal luckier than ALL of us who came before you. And I’d call that a distinct possiblity… but ONLY if you get off your asses and get documenting and researching every last link you can find and correlate your own data. Many blessings to you, and best of luck!