Putin to Train U.S. Forces to Fight Anunnaki

Putin to Train U.S. Forces to Fight Anunnaki

President Trump and Vladimir Putin on Monday signed a historic accord that will allow Russian Spetznas to train American Special Forces in anti-Anunnaki warfare techniques, according to Federal Service Bureau (FSB) agent Dimitri Osmosovich.

Trump agreed to the joint training plan after learning that an unstoppable wave of Anunnaki warriors had nearly overrun a U.S. military compound near the Syrian city of Manbij. As exclusively reported last week, the Special Forces detachment evacuated the camp only minutes before the Anunnaki would have reached it and slaughtered everyone in their path. After the incident, Trump purportedly telephoned Putin on a secure line and said he wanted to do his part in ridding the planet of malevolent extraterrestrials. He allegedly apologized for his earlier shortsightedness. He stated that American forces would no longer linger on the sidelines while Russian troops fight to prevent the extinction of humanity.

Trump’s pledge, however, came with a provision: He said he will not commit U.S. military personnel to the Anunnaki War until after the 2020 election. To do otherwise, Trump said, might trigger fresh allegations of Russian collusion, which could inhibit a landslide victory over whatever candidate the Democrats toss in the arena.

“While President Putin was happy to hear Trump is now taking seriously the Anunnaki threat, he was disheartened to hear Trump will not act for over a year. Here in Russia we have high confidence, exceedingly high confidence that Trump will win in 2020, so there is no cause for delay. But a promise of future help is better than nothing. But what if the Anunnaki win by then? Putin and Trump disagree on many issues, but at least now both agree the Anunnaki are a clear and present danger to our way of life,” Osmosovich said.

Amid political tumult, the world’s two most powerful leaders hammered out a preliminary deal that would see United States Special Forces soldiers and Delta Force operators training alongside their Russian counterparts as early as February 2021. Putin told Trump Russian Spetznas stood ready to train American soldiers at his convenience, and he suggested training exercises take place in an obscure and neutral country, like Latvia or Belarus, where major media outlets are unlikely to catch wind of the operation. Spetznas, Osmosovich said, will probably teach American forces how to attune their proprietary energy and acoustic weapons to harm the invasive species, as well as counter-insurgency tactics that have proved effective in recent Russia-Anunnaki engagements. Whether Putin will share technical schematics on an optical device that allows the wearer to see Anunnaki portals remains open to speculation. Moreover, Osmosovich said scientists at the Metzgoya extraterrestrial research outpost have developed a revolutionary weapon that enervates Anunnaki by somehow sapping them of life.

“I suspect President Putin will share these advancements, but with restrictions. Naturally, we don’t want our weapons turned against us. I understand Trump is amenable to Putin’s suggestions, as he has experience in asymmetrical warfare on the Anunnaki. If we can keep the Anunnaki at bay until America joins the fight, the collaborative effort might turn the tide of war in our favor,” Osmosovich said.